Sorry Mister... Date My Sister...

Cuz I'm gonna be gone for 18 months!
To all of you men out there I am happy to report myself completely and 100% unavailable! I have a date with France, so you might try looking into another Haws girl (there are PLENTY to go around:). But I will be back in Spring 2016, so mark your calendars!

When I was at school (oh heavens that feels like it was soooooo long ago!) I did date quite a bit and I enjoyed every second of it! If you want to take me out, buy me dinner or even just ice cream I am all over that! Yeah I like dating (who doesn't) but after you've eaten up your hamburger or scraped the last little bit of chocolate ice cream from the bowl, things can sometimes take a turn for the worst.

Well on the first date, you are usually pretty safe. No one wants to bring "IT" up on the first date (unless he's truly desperate) but after date 2 or 3 you better be careful when he walks you home and the conversation starts to veer from "schoolwork" and "church callings" to "hopes" "dreams" and "aspirations."

After he's regaled you with his grand ideas and where he sees himself in 5 or 10 years, you experience a lull in the conversation. It's then that he turns to you and either directly or indirectly asks you what your plans are.

Well, I personally have all kinds of plans. I plan on getting all A's. I plan on eventually writing a musical. I plan on making it to English 201 on TIME tomorrow. I plan on cleaning up my room before the floor disappears completely. I plan on not staying up till 2 so I can be awake for church on Sunday.

(Yeah, this picture pretty much sums up every college student's life...)

(Going to bed before two just doesn't happen in college...)

I plan all the time, but he isn't asking about these plans. No, what he really wants to know is: Are you going on a mission?

Yes! Yes I am going on a mission! Yes that's my plan, and I've talked it over with Heavenly Father and I'm fairly certain it's His plan too.
When I would tell this to boys, I would get one of two responses:

Pre Mission Boy: Oh Really?! Sweet! Let me know when you get your papers in! I want to know where you are going!

Returned Missionary: Ummmm....Are you sure? (cue apprehensive look)

Now obviously these are both stereotypes. I didn't receive the exact same response every time. Sometimes the men in question used different wording :)

At first I was excited to share this fact because I myself was so excited about it but then I realized that as soon as this announcement was made, those returned missionaries wouldn't ask me out again.

So this led me to this question:

Is it possible to plan to serve a mission and still be worth dating?

Well, is it? Boys would stop asking me out as soon as they knew I wasn't "marriage material" so I just stopped telling them about my "plan." I wanted to date! I didn't have my mission call yet and I had a good 6 months before I could even leave on a mission!

I kept dating and having a grand time, but then after a few dates, boys would want to get a little more serious and I wasn't ready (or interested) in that. If I told them my plan they wouldn't want to date me seriously, they wouldn't want to date me at all! But I wanted to date, I wanted to have fun, I just didn't want to worry about putting a ring on it!

This is when I realized the greater question I was asking myself:

Is it possible to date just for fun at college?

After thinking this over, I came to discover a few truths:

1) In the long run, the purpose of dating IS to find your eternal companion and then get married in the temple and live happily ever after

2) After we reach a certain point in our life (this point is different for each person) We need to not only be anxiously engaged in doing good, but just plain old anxiously engaged!
3) My worth is not measured by how many dates I go on
4) After a certain age, single guys aren't going to spend a lot of one on one time with a single girl if there isn't potential there.
5) It isn't bad for young men to be focused on finding an eternal companion
6) I don't want to be a girl who wastes anyones time
7)If I never went on another date, I wouldn't die (I might feel like I was going to die, but it very likely wouldn't kill me)
8) If I have had revelation from God about what I'm supposed to do (in this case, yes I have had serious revelation that a mission is EXACTLY what I need to be doing) then I should definitely stick to that plan.
9) (This is the MOST important one) Heavenly Father has got it ALL worked out.

So no, for the most part dating in college really isn't just to have fun. That was what high school was about. For many people, college is an opportunity to date to find their eternal companion and since I'm not really on the market for eternal companionship at the moment, I might not get asked out as much. Now you definitely can go on dates just for fun! There is nothing in the laws of this land that say "If you go on one date, or even two or three, it's practically a marriage proposal" No, we go on dates to figure things out. To figure out if we are compatible with someone, what we like about someone, what we like about ourselves, what we dislike. We date to KNOW and DISCOVER. But we don't go on exclusive dates with one person over and over and over again just to have "fun." So if he finds out you are mission bound, yeah, he might not ask you out again and that is A-Okay

That all being said, everyone has different paths. I know plenty of girls that have felt like they were supposed to go on a mission, had their calls and everything and then met the guy of their dreams and felt prompted to stay behind and marry him. This isn't a bad thing at all! That's why I said the most important thing is Heavenly Father has got it ALL worked out! Many of them were so dead set on going on a mission they only went on a date with the guy to be nice or to have a little fun on a friday night, and then things just worked out differently. We have got to be flexible and go with the flow and realize that we don't get the bigger picture right now.

Ladies and Gentleman, you better believe hindsight is 20/20 but in the here and now, we sometimes may feel very much like we are walking around like Velma in Scooby Doo when her glasses fall off her face. That's okay though :)

 Walking by faith means you might have to take a step into the darkness, just slightly out of the light and wait for Heavenly Father to light the way and show you where he wants you to go next.

Now I'm home, out of the dating scene and even though I haven't been on a date in months, I AM STILL ALIVE!!!! :) I am grateful for the opportunities I had to date in college, and I am grateful for my completely nonexistent social life now because it allows me to focus on other, more important things.

I love dating
But
I love the Gospel more.
I am so excited for my mission
I know that Heavenly Father has it all worked out and if we are faithful and try to do the things that we know are right, we will be blessed!

~Keep Smiling!~ :)