Today we are going to start with the basics:
Initial Contact
Rule 1: Never be creepy
If you think someone is attractive from across the room DO NOT:
-Stare at them
-Begin to name your future children
- Proceed to tell them the names of your future children
-Propose to them
Rule 2: Be Confident
Wether you decide to go up to them or wait for them to come to you, you must be confident in yourself and your decision. Wishy Washiness is not very flattering on most people. Usually if you want to talk to them, the best thing to do is to initiate conversation yourself that way you ensure it happens.
Rule 3: Smile
A smile is a good look on everyone, but don't be too smiley. A good rule of thumb: if you feel like you're forcing a smile, you probably look like you're forcing a smile so just relax :)
Rule 4: Connecting during Conversation is Key
Keeping them engaged while conversing is the most important thing you can do. If you are boring or unable to carry a conversation, it doesn't matter how cute you look or how much time you spent on your hair. Finding a topic to talk about really begins with being observant, noticing something about them that you can point out and ask questions about. Maybe they are wearing a Seattle Seahawks Hat, so are they a football fan? Are they from Seattle? What do they think about the fact that it rains all the time? Notice how three questions generated simple from an article of clothing.
Rule 5: Remember the difference between a Conversation and an Interrogation
While it's true that asking questions is the best way to get someone to open up and talk, you don't want to just ask questions. Again, this is part of connecting to them. If you are able to comment, share a short related anecdote or thought about what they say, they will get to know you as you get to know them, and you want them to get to know you! Don't rapid fire questions at them, because they may begin to feel like they are in the middle of a police investigation. If you are a police officer, remember to separate business and fun. You may be super good at grilling suspects, but remember the person you are interested in probably isn't a felon. :) Be fun, and funny. If you make them laugh, you've scored major bonus points. :)
Rule 6: Getting their number takes initiative
If you enjoyed them and would like to continue to pursue a friendship or relationship, the only way to d o that is to get contact information. If you don't have their information, you probably won't ever speak again. (Sad but true) So if you want their number there are two different approaches. Subtle and less then subtle.
Subtle: When people are in the middle of socializing they can forget about getting contact info. It happens all the time, so your job is to remind them that they want to get your number. To do this you simply give them a visual aid, your cell phone. Pull it out, check the time, play with it as you talk to them, maybe drop it. Bring brief attention to it so that they realize it's there. You can even make a subtle reference to your phone, commenting on how old it is, how you dropped it and cracked the screen. Finding a way to slide such a comment into the conversation isn't all that difficult but make sure it's not so obviously random.
Less Then Subtle: Just straight up ask for their number. This takes a little more courage but it demonstrates confidence. And in the event of rejection, if the person doesn't want to give you their number then no harm done, you just saved yourself time and energy. You can go focus on someone else.
~Keep Smiling~ :)
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